Lump

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Do you want to start your day off really well? Listen to this.

Is there any sound in the world better than a baby laughing? It is right up there with a cat purring and the tea being poured. Probably better than both, which is saying something special.

Sometimes when I am in the middle of my everyday, just going about my business of feeding children and dressing children and changing nappies and kissing scraped knees and bringing out the craft paint and putting away the craft paint and changing the children’s clothes and washing the paint-covered clothes and finding the lost toy and finding the other lost toy and feeding the children again and reading stories and playing chasings and playing hide ‘n seek and changing more nappies and supervising ‘sharing’ and, and, and…

… Sometimes in the middle of all that I will get a lump in my throat so large I can barely swallow.

It happened to me yesterday as I was carrying Madeleine upstairs for her afternoon nap. She wrapped both arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder. “Just a little nap, Mummy,” she reminded me. And there was the big fat lump, blocking my words, making my eyes swim.

It is in ordinary moments like these that I am reminded of just how extraordinarily lucky I am to have Madeleine and Harry in my life. And how narrowly I missed out on having them, if I hadn’t changed my mind about having children until after it was too late. The thought that they almost weren’t here leaves me breathless.

5 comments

  • Tash

    Naomi, at the beginning of this year I separated from my long term partner of 7 years because over time, my thoughts on starting a family had changed, and his hadn’t. I can’t wait to hopefully one day have little chubby arms around my neck, and a little family to call my own. It is not a decision you make easily, but I have never met a mother or a father who says they would change a thing. (your post made me teary a bit!) :) xx

    • Naomi Bulger

      Oh Tash what a brave and difficult decision for you to make! I know a family isn’t for everyone but I do have to say that for me, it is the BEST thing I ever did. No competition. I hope you have this experience soon. xx

  • Bel

    That laugh totally did make my day! I love have when things are just apart to fall apart, kids have this amazing way of showing you what really matters, and it’s beautiful x

  • Jo from Blondie By the Sea

    I know the exact same lump you’re talking about. Kids are amazing. Jo xx

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